Maryanne Comaroto, Relationship Specialist and Psychologist, on Manifesting and Setting Intention for Relationships

Relationship specialist, psychologist, and award-winning author Maryanne Comaroto helps individuals discover essential tools for creating healthy, fulfilling, and sustainable relationships. Maryanne is a clinical hypnotherapist, certified Vedanta meditation teacher, popular speaker, and host of a weekly radio show that reaches a global audience across 130 countries. With a gift for making complex theories practical and telling the truth with compassion, Maryanne offers one-on-one counseling sessions and leads life-changing workshops. She is also the founder of the nonprofit the Queen of the Jungle Foundation. 

Maryanne earned her Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialty in Somatics. With years of researching the cultural impact on modern relationships, Maryanne developed the CORR© relationship curriculum and innovated the SHOMI® Method, a transformational system of self-inquiry. She created the audio series “Thrive: Seven Essential Truths for Revealing Your Secret, Sacred Self” and authored the award-winning Skinny, Tan and Rich: Unveiling the Myth and Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers!

Maryanne enjoys meeting people, traveling, and exploring new cultures. She and her husband own Gassho House, a boutique retreat venue for people to gather, learn and refresh. In her free time, Maryanne loves being with her family and her fur babies, and the beach is her happy place.

What are some reasons to manifest a relationship rather than allow it to happen organically?

There's a lot of hype around setting an intention. It's actually even assumed that setting intention means is analogous with manifestation. "I'll just be clear with my intention, and then I will create something." This isn't too far off the mark when it comes to partnership.

It is important because you are moving from unconscious motivation to conscious motivation. If we were to draw those parallels, it might look like this unconscious motivation is: "I'm lonely." "It's time for me to get married." "I'm not okay by myself." "No one wants me." These unconscious motivations are all sort of banging around in the attic.

And so when you're putting out the vibe into the universe, as they say, what you're going to be met with is an unconscious match for those. You're going to lower your standards, you're going to compromise, you're going be desperate, and you're going to be the worst version of yourself because you're not clear. You're moving out of a fear base or a lower nature.

Whereas when we are intentional, we can really think about "Why do I even want to be in a relationship?" So many of us just assume we should [be in a relationship], and we do it unconsciously. This way, we get to be more clear with ourselves: "I want a partner. I want someone to share my experiences with. I love being inspired. I love my friendships. I want someone to be like a friend and romantic." You need to unpack what's really true for you. And then, once you realize that, you'll have a greater likelihood of recognizing this person when they show up.

Versus a lot of people who think, "Oh, someone wants me." And then three years later, you're trying to dig your way out of a relationship that sort of just happened, and you didn't know how to say no to it because you didn't know yourself. So falling into that bucket of: "When I know myself, I have a greater likelihood of creating my own wants."

I'd say that the chief aim here is to do it consciously, to create consciousness and intentionality.

What are some ways to manifest and attract a partner?

Being clear. Being clear on who you are and what you want. Being as clear as possible. So you don't just recreate the same dynamic your parents, or you did before.

What are some ways to help those who struggle to be clear and identify their needs and desires in relationships?

Well, an easy thing to do is in my book, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers. One thing you could do is read that book, which breaks down six different things you can do [to identify your needs and desires]. 

In that book, there's a section where you can go through your past relationships and start to find the pattern to help you awaken. That would be my first suggestion: look at what you've done in the past. How's that working for you? Really take an inventory, as we would call it. Be aware of what you are doing or not doing, and see if that needs to shift or change.

(Disclaimer: Devdiscourse's journalists were not involved in the production of this article. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of Devdiscourse and Devdiscourse does not claim any responsibility for the same.)