Adhyayan Suman Reflects on Challenging Career Phase: ''Moments of Despair Haunting Me''

There were days he broke down, days he wanted to just give up and run away from home, recalls actor Adhyayan Suman about the dark phase of his career that he hopes will end with Sanjay Leela Bhansalis Heeramandi.

There were days he broke down, days he wanted to just give up and run away from home, recalls actor Adhyayan Suman about the ''dark phase'' of his career that he hopes will end with Sanjay Leela Bhansali's ''Heeramandi''. As he contemplated the highs and lows of his life, Adhyayan said he took inspiration from the likes of Amitabh Bachchan. ''You look at Mr Bachchan, starting from the beginning and going absolutely down under and then again becoming a superstar, so if you don't learn from that, then what do you learn from? So I learned from that and this is where I stand today,'' the 36-year-old told PTI.

The son of seasoned actor Shekhar Suman, Adhyayan debuted as a lead actor in 2008 with ''Haal-e-dil'' and followed up with performances in ''Raaz - The Mystery Continues'' and ''Jashnn'' which released in 2009. After that followed a prolonged slump where he appeared only sporadically in films. In fact, he made headlines for his personal life, especially his tumultuous relationship with actor Kangana Ranaut.

The 15 years from 2009 to 2024 were tough, Adhyayan said. ''There were days when I broke down, there were days I wanted to give up and change the profession. There were days when I didn't want to probably live or be here, I don't know, just run away from home.

''There were answers I was looking for but weren't getting any, like why me and why is it happening? I don't think anyone can answer that,'' he said. What kept him going was his parents' love and faith in his capabilities.

''I look at myself every day in the mirror and I am very real about who I am and the skills that I own in my life. So I just said 'you know what, it's tough but you just want to do what you got to do.' And then you look at all the other people...'' Adhyayan hopes to put an end to the rough patch with the lavishly mounted ''Heeramandi: The Diamond Bazaar'' in which his father also makes an appearance.

The actor said he is optimistic things will change for him post May 1, when the period drama series starts streaming on Netflix.

''But I want to be balanced. I don't want to over expect or think too much... I don't want to work like this anymore. I don't think I come from that space anymore.

''I think I just want to be neutral. I just want to be grateful for the fact that a man like Bhansali gave me a sense of validation and gave me a new life, and reinstalled the fact that I do know a little bit about my craft. And the rest I'm hoping because I've been getting sincere with my work,'' he said.

''Heeramandi'' feels like he is still in a beautiful dream and will wake up any time now, the actor added.

''I'm grateful to god that this is not a dream. This is my reality for now. When god gives you something, it gives you 'Heeramandi'. I really hope that people give me the chance and opportunity this time,'' the actor said.

''Heeramandi'' stars Manisha Koirala, Sonakshi Sinha, Richa Chadha, Sharmin Segal, Aditi Rao Hydari, and Sanjeeda Shaikh in the lead roles.

Billed as an epic saga of love, power, revenge and freedom, the series explores the cultural reality of 'Heeramandi' through the stories of courtesans and their patrons set against the tumultuous backdrop of the Indian freedom struggle of the 1940s.

Adhyayan plays the role of young Nawab Zorawar as well as the younger version of his father's character Nawab Zulfiqar.

Recalling the story of how his son was cast in the show, Shekhar Suman said Adhyayan received a call from Bhansali while coming back from Shimla and were crossing a tunnel.

The father-son duo, travelling in different cars, stopped on the side of the road and Adhyayan went ahead with the audition for the role of Zorawar.

Shekhar, who didn't know at the time that he would also be later cast in the show, said he told Adhyayan to reach the hotel to audition properly but his son insisted on auditioning on the spot.

''He stands by the roadside, gives an audition in whatever condition he was in --dishevelled hair and no makeup, nothing. And on the basis of that he gets chosen.

''I tell him that metaphorically speaking the dark tunnel where he gets the call was actually the dark phase that he was going through in life, and the light at the end of the tunnel was Mr. Bhansali and Heeramandi was waiting,'' said Shekhar Suman.

Working on 'Heeramandi' and with Bhansali was nothing short of being in a film school, Adhyayan said.

''I've learned a lot on this set and I think he is the toughest taskmaster that any actor can ever come across. He is the best film school that an actor can ever go to. It is his craft and his need for perfection, the way his nuances that he has for actors.

''It's not easy for an actor to be able to perform with 500 people watching you at a massive set with massive cameras and Mr. Bhansali watching you. If you go through that and are able to deliver, then I feel like you can handle and be in any film set,'' the actor said.

"Heeramandi: The Diamond Bazaar'' is created and directed by Bhansali. He also serves as a producer on the show.

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